LIberal Womyn We'd Prefer Not to Enjoy (in bed, or anywhere else)

Recently, Playboy.com decided to run an article about the 10 Conservative women they’d most like to hate f***. Somehow, they thought this would curry favor with their mostly Liberal audience and they made a concerted effort to advertise this crap through the Internet via Liberal bloggers.

Somehow, they must’ve forgotten that there are some decent people on the Internet, and Conservatives, too, so, after a short time posted, Playboy took the article down, and semi-respectable Lib bloggers, like Anne Mullins at Politico had to issue mea culpas for their original links to the article (an article they clearly had not read).

If you want to see the original, Blogwonks has it.

Not that this is very hard, I decided to take a little revenge on the Left and choose my list of Liberal women we’d least like to, ummmm, well, you know. A few conditions – the women on this list have to have some clear leftist political leaning, must not be someone you’d want to introduce to your college pals as a conquest, and must be heterosexual, so that leaves out, well, the likes of Rosie O’Donnell, Rachel Maddow, and Ellen Degeneres (since they wouldn’t want to be with men anyway).

They are:

1. Arianna Huffington – founder of the Huffington Post, and turncoat to Conservatives (well, you’d feel jilted, too, if your ex-billionaire husband turned out gay).
2. Michelle Obama – if “angry black woman” were personified, it’d be her. She’d never been truly proud of her country until her husband locked up the Democratic nomination. Not even when Affirmative Action was securing her a slot at Princeton. Now she just spends the taxpayers’ money on date nights.
3. Andrea Mitchell – yech. A “reporter” so loose with the facts, and so hideous, she had to marry Alan Greenspan.
4. Katie Couric – if Drudge didn’t constantly remind CBS how bad it has gotten since she took over the anchor chair from another woman we’d hate to ummm, you know (Dan Rather), we wouldn’t remember her.
5. Barbara Streisand – the once great singer long ago decided to abandon Israel and her Jewish roots to shill for the Democrats. In her defense, she was smitten with Bill Clinton. So, I guess you could argue the Devil made her do it.
6. Hillary Clinton – I almost feel sorry for Hillary. Almost.
7. Nancy Pelosi – I know Nancy Pelosi isn’t a stupid woman. You don’t get to be Speaker by being stupid. You do, however, get to be speaker by being ruthless, shameless, and less than faithful to the truth.
8. Janeane Garafalo – I am glad that she contends she’s not a lesbian, thus making her eligible for my list. The much tattooed, unfunny comedienne, and former Air America talk show host has a penchant for saying the stupidest things while proclaiming her own Liberal superiority. Poster child for modern Liberalism. If we didn’t have Janeane, we’d have to invent her.
9. Helen Thomas – Worst reporter in American history. Enough said.
10. Ellen Goodman – The Boston Globe columnist compares global warming skeptics to Holocaust deniers and thinks empathy is an important qualification for Supreme Court justices (as long as it’s not empathy for the rule of law, the 2^nd Amendment or 10^th Amendments).

Honorable Mention:

1. Madonna – Just plain scary and definitely liberal, but, I used to have a massive crush, so I’d probably still take her.
2. Susan Estrich – I wanted to include her in the top 10, since she is definitely a left-wing apologist, but, I actually like her, and find her attractive in a weird way. Also, since she masterminded the Dukakis campaign, I think she might be a closet conservative.
3. Hanoi Jane Fonda – she deserves to be on the list, but, she was once hot, and she was married to Ted Turner, so she has an excuse now.
4. Eleanor Clift – if The McLaughlin Group had any viewers anymore, she might crack the top 10, cause, she ain’t much to look at, and she’s for sure a left-wing nut case. But, nobody’s listening anymore.
5. Maureen Dowd – The NYT columnist has the leftist bona fides, but, she’s just a tad too attractive, and you know she’s of low moral character, so, she can’t make the list, either.
6. Angelina Jolie – sorry, but, Jon Voight’s daughter may be more conservative than you think. One of the few Hollywood elite to suggest that the War in Iraq may have been a good thing.