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    Friday, June 4, 2010

    Solving the Israel Problem. And California's

    I have been thinking lately, in light of the fact that Israel can not get a break from the world, if there is an alternate solution to the "Israel" problem - especially now that we have the first openly hostile to Israel president here in the US.

    Previous administrations would never have allowed the indignities foisted on Israel by the "Freedom Flotilla." 

    So, I have a suggestion that I think will work to everyone's satisfaction, and solve some domestic problems, too.

    Leftists and Islamofascists like to claim that if the Jews would just leave the Middle East, the Arab world would all be happy and leave the West alone.  I say we call their bluff, and, we remove the Jews from Israel and offer them a New Israel here in the New World.

    My plan is - grant statehood to Puerto Rico.  That will keep the flag the same at 50 states, because we are then going to revoke California's statehood, and make that the New Israel nation.  Now, we'll want to get some treaty assurances from the Arab nations (I propose we have Egypt annex Israel, since they are one of the few countries in the Middle East we can trust) that they will protect religious shrines that are important to Christians and Jews in the Middle East, and that they will keep the Holy Land as a kind of protected zone for religious travelers and pilgrims.

    By giving up California, we rid ourselves of the incredible drain the Golden State has become on the national treasury, we'll restore democratic rule to the state, and, perhaps, under the rule of Israelis, California (New Israel) will finally come to grips with their immigration problem.  Plus, we'll be able to ditch their debt, and maybe, just maybe, industry will return.

    Politically, we'll rob the Democrats of 54 sure electoral votes (of course, we'll trade them the 4 or 5 that PR will bring, but, ok) and we'll gain a real military ally on our west coast.

    I think this works out nicely.  I know it's a real problem for the Jewish people who have made Israel their home for a few thousand years, but, let's face it, their neighborhood sucks anyway, and this way, the Arabs can go back to killing each other, rather than using Israel and us as the locus of their anger.


    reddog said...

    Since we're apparently blowing smoke out of our asses here, why don't we do this, Whiner?

    Here in California, we'll keep the Lefty atheists, Homos and Mexicans. None of them are unemployed. Hell, most of the Mexicans have two or three jobs.

    You take back the half wit, Sunday thumpin' 'necks, that seesaw back and forth during the week between loading up on crank and Oxycontin. I know a lot of them didn't originally come from below the Mason Dixon line but they're all good potential Klan members and we guarantee not to send you any White people who believe in evolution or that the World is more than 6,000 years old, tops. They'll feel right at home with you. If they don't, you can let them go back to Indiana, Missouri, Arkansas, Southern Illinois, Western Pennsylvania or wherever their people originally came from. How much fairer can we be?

    We'll be happy to be out of the Union, if you don't want us anymore and sure don't want to be a burden.

    We'll give the Hebrews parts of Inyo, Kern and San Berdo counties on the back side of the Sierras between Lone Pine and Victorville and cut them a corridor West, to Camp Pendleton. They can use that as a Seaport. That's a bigger chunk of land than they have now, better weather and they have that whole make the desert bloom thing goin' on anyway. They'll do great.

    We'll give the Hebes the Vietnamese and Koreans. They'll get along and probably convert, once they realize what good company they're in and realize their kids are going to have the best public schools in the World. We'll keep the Muslims. No unemployment problems there. They're never out of work and everyone knows that Lefties, Homos and Greasers get along great with Sand Niggers. We're all practically the same thing, anyway.

    Once things are up and running, maybe we can shoot you a little foreign aid, send some college kid social workers down there to help you with your drug problems and teach you about proper nutrition for your children. We might even promote a little tourism and maybe build a tennis shoe factory or two down there, to help develop your economy.

    I think that's a fair deal and of benefit for all. I'm sure you all will do a lot better once California isn't dragging you down any more and we sure are sorry to have been so much trouble.

    By the way, if you have any local Lefty atheists, Homos that want to come out of the closet and get Gay married or Mexicans that aren't happy down there, point them in our direction. It's cool. They ain't heavy, we're all bro's.

    Jay said...

    Very funny.

    But, the proposal doesn't give Californians any say in their future.

    You accept the rule of the Israelis, or I suppose you can apply to enter the United States. Legally.

    Good luck getting into Arizona.

    reddog said...

    Comes down to that, I could probably live with the Hebes. I'm a quarter Jewish anyway, I doubt I'd have a big problem if they took over.

    I think I'd prefer to join Hamas and fight them though. Religion aside, the Israelis are racist, genocidal bastards, even though I'm probably not the one who'd be in their sights.

    They'd be better off taking the desert patch along US 395. Californians get along fine with Jews and a big chunk of Americas Jews live here. Israelis not so much. Even the Jews here don't like them. The Israelis would be outnumbered 2 to 1 by the rest of us and not all of us are as anti war as you'd like to think. It really depends on the war. I live hard up against the Los Al Naval Weapons Station on Anaheim Bay. It's not that heavily manned and most of those doing the job are local. Prolly get most of the Nukes out of there before the takeover. After the Israelis are done for, we might have enough left over for Arizona. Then, anybody that wants to can move there. Ya know, Arizona might want to think about taking in the Israelis. The weather is right and the tribe of ben Goldwater is still very active there.