So, my daughter brought home an assignment in her AP language course to emulate a variety of columnists. They had to do some biographical research, analyze the writer, then pick a subject and write a "column" in that writer's style.
I said, easy assignment. Cynthia Tucker was on the list, so, just choose any subject, frame it as the Conservative GOP's fault, Barack Obama is the solution, and ultimately, it's all because of race. Then, have our second grade neighbor write it.